I know we just had a one on one talk. But since You are the only one I have left to talk to, I thought I write You a letter so I can apologize for sins and my transgressions. I know You have washed me with the blood of Your Son which takes away every spot of sin but God I feel there is just so much I have to confess to You about. So what I’m going to do is break it down bit by bit.
I used to blame You for everything wrong with my life, while in fact I was the one who was to blame for everything wrong with my life. I always said God you are so unfair to me for putting me in a family that seemed not to care for me and my hurt. Never seeing there were those who needed to feel the touch of a parent or a brother but could not coz they were born as only children then orphaned. But not me I had a brother to look up to and a mother to provide for me. Looking back at it I never got down on my knees to thank you God for giving me life. All I did was complain why is this happening to me why is that happening to me. I never at one time stopped to look what you gave me. Two functioning hand, two functioning legs, two functioning eyes, two functioning ears, a healthy functioning brain, and a complete healthy body. Never once did I say thank you yet I had the guts to say you were unfair to me. Knowing there those without any of the things you gave me. I’m sorry God for my selfishness.
2009 you thought to show me the error of my ways darkness fell over my life like it did on the Egyptians when they held your children captive but I never at one time fell to my knees to ask for your forgiveness. But since you loved me so and you did not want to see me surfer any more November 24 2009 you sent me a ray of sun shine in the name of a relationship to one of you children. Everything I always wanted to have a friend a confidant and a person I could some day give the ring so we could be forever united. But God again I never saw it as a favor from you instead I attributed it to my face coz I felt I was handsome my brain coz I felt I was smart, funny and witty, my eyes coz I felt they made me see her for her and not for you. The same things you gave and I never even thanked you for. Im sorry God for my self serving idolatry.
2011 you did it again looked to show me the error of my ways coz I was going further and further away from you. So you took every thing you had so mercifully given to me. First the job then the money then the peace of mind thing the ray of sun shine. I was back at it again the darkness that you had mercifully chosen to take me out of. And instead of repenting I went on a blame God binge. Blamed you for the job loss yet in reality it was all my doing. I never did what your word says in Ephesians 6:7-8. yet I held you responsible for my loss. Blamed you for the lack of money yet it was my misuse like the prodigal son on earthly vanities that got me to the point of no money. In my blaming of you instead of repenting to took away the peace of mind so I would look to you for help but I stuck to my worldly ways so you thought to show me all comes from you. So you took the ray of sun shine you brought to me so I could see you God. Again I blamed you for it forgeting it was my lust for flesh which is not your way that got me back to the darkness. I’m sorry God for my vanities and fleshly lust.
Though you forgave me and gave your son for me I have never really apologized to you for all I have done to you which is why I come to you today with a bleeding heart pleading for mercy. I deserve all the things that have happened to me over the years and more coz I have never thanked you for all that I have and all that you have destined for me. So if it be your will God I will take the punishment you choose for me. But broken and naked I come before you asking for forgiveness and acceptance back to your merciful grace. Thank you God for your mercies
Your humbled savant